to my valentine

since you could not come outside and play today i thought i would bring the snowy night to you.

see how cold it is outside?

the rain freezes.

and all the people are nowhere to be found.

all that's left are the trees to sway and survive till the liberation of spring...

and this silly snowgirl holding a worn flower

for the sillybear she loves.

found polaroids

i was coming home on the train last week. sitting dangerously close to a man stinking of urine laying across the seats. i was so tired i didn't even care that i was still sitting when we came to a stop at jamaica center. i'm quite the anxious traveller so i usually jockey for door position so i can be free first. first to go up the stairs. first to get on the connecting bus. if i hadn't hung back until the car had cleared i never would have found the first polaroid just staring at me from the corner of an advertisement frame.

i swiped the the city street sign polaroid and went home.



the next day i was walking home from the bus stop and spied something slightly shiny on the ground and bent to examine. somehow i had found another polaroid picture. this time a reluctant smiler. he seems like a nice guy. is the universe telling me to buy a polaroid camera? i like to think there is a polaroid discarding phantom out there just peppering the streets with odd snap shots. an expensive but admirable hobby.

merrick blvd

this was the first photo i took by myself with lilo's complicated camera. the camera that is now broken which is responsible for the dearth in self portraiture.

august 27 2005. a saturday afternoon. it was warm. the bus made me nervous. putting my metrocard in the right way also made me nervous. i was headed to the mall to find that gem of a job. lord knows what i was wearing or how i was presenting myself because every single store i applied at to be a cashier never called me up for an interview. paylesss. lane bryant. old navy. freaking cvs. i was going to start debating on whether that was a good thing or not but that is always a waste of time for i am where i am now because of where i was then.

passing junky store front after store front on merrick blvd. we came upon a man selling great big watermelons from the back of his truck. i fumbled with the huge camera, feeling awkward as i always have taking pictures in front of people. perhaps someday i will get over that. and then the next step is to take pictures of strangers. ooooh. scary. i was too late to capture the melons so i took what i thought to be boring photos as we rolled down the middle class ghetto boulevard.

this was a happy accident helped with photoshop manipulation.